What 2013 Has Taught Us

No one gives a shit about Miley Cyrus, stop asking me if I watched her performance last week.

Twerking is just dancing. Get over it. Please.

Human solidarity can last for a week or two after the death of an iconic figure such as Nelson Mandela.

No one really gave a shit about the Blurred Lines video, especially if they spent their teenage years watching Chingy’s Right Hurr.

Only Kanye West seems to give a shit about what Kanye West says. Oh and myself who wrote an article based on his Radio 1 interview.

Otters are the next big thing after cats. You heard it here first.

It’s okay to be black in Florida, just don’t wear a hoodie whilst holding a bag of Skittles.

It’s okay to shoot a girl dead on your doorstep because her car broke down and she needed help. I mean, that’s what you do as a man, you shoot her.

David Cameron boasted about Britain being one of the first countries to abolish slavery to Russia’s president. Nothing to be proud of mate but thanks anyway.

Beyoncé fans make me want to kick a small badger into a pit of ravenous porcupines. I’d do that to the fans but then I’d be called a woman beater.

Only die hard J. Cole fans seem to think Born Sinner was the best rap album of the year. Not the impartial music fans that can detach bias from an argument. Please direct abuse to my mentions on Twitter.

Complex Magazine still should never be taken seriously on anything that involves words.

Daily Mail readers are still idiots.

No one really gives a shit about Katie Hopkins.

Drake can be the most talked about artist, even if it’s for a meme, and not drop an album until the last quarter of the year.

I don’t watch Breaking Bad. However, I am sure it is not the best television ever when the likes of The Wire, The Sopranos and Vampire Diaries exist. Yes, I said Vampire Diaries.

What we need is another infographic to tell us what sort of person uses Facebook.

It’s okay to like Yeezus and it’s okay to dislike it. Just don’t be a dick about it.

Jay Z should’ve stopped rapping a few years ago.

You don’t really care about the NSA having your info, otherwise you wouldn’t have allowed Bitstrips to just have access to all your Facebook data. If you are plotting to commit a terrorist act, you may want to delete your Facebook though.

It’s okay to listen to rap and all the misogyny that comes along with it. However, it may not be wise to ask your female friend to ‘pop it for a real n****’. Unless she volunteers to do it of course.

Daily Mail readers are still idiots.

Miley Cyrus doesn’t brush her tongue.

If the Illuminati did exist you, an internet simpleton, will not be aware of its existence.

Humans are idiots.

@MarvinsCorridor

2 thoughts on “What 2013 Has Taught Us

  1. “I don’t watch Breaking Bad. However, I am sure it is not the best television ever when the likes of The Wire, The Sopranos and Vampire Diaries exist. Yes, I said Vampire Diaries.”

    VAMPIRE DIARIES, though?! The Wire is the best television show of all time, but Breaking Bad is certainly better than VD.

    That’s said, this was a hilarious post. You made 2013 sound sardonic and fun.

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