I Am Man

I am man.

I have a penis.

I have urges.

I have a brain.

I am told that woman is my conquest.

I was always told I am the hunter, never the hunted.

She is my prey.

She has a vagina.

She has urges.

So who is she to reject my advances?

Well, she also has a brain.

Why was I never told to hunt her knowledge?

I love to learn. So why can’t I learn anything but her number?

Even the name’s not necessary.

I am man.

Sex is the FA Cup. A connection is the Premier League.

The FA Cup is great when you haven’t won a trophy in years. Except, I’ve won it all now, I want the Premier League title.

We had an argument.

She called me a prick.

I called her a slag.

That’s just it, she’s never had sex.

We both decided a night out would be good.

We earn the same.

I was told I have to pay. Why?

I am man.

The bill comes, the waiter gives it to me. She asked for the bill but…

I am man.

She was walking home late the other night after work. She was attacked. Luckily she got away.

She was asked ‘why were you walking that way?’ and ‘what were you wearing?’.

What about ‘I’m sorry you went through that, I’m here if you need me’?

The question I have to ask myself after all this is; how would I feel if my daughter was nothing but a conquest?

She’s just a female.

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